The Walrus Stage

               

Typically there are three trimesters of pregnancy (first, second and third). My mind doesn't work that way and I have them divided differently.

There is the "We are pregnant but not telling people so stop asking me if I want a glass of wine because I really just want to throw up then take a nap" stage. This stage lasted extra long this time.

There is the "We are having a baby, see my clothes kind of don't fit and my Pinterest board is overflowing with cutesy baby stuff" stage.

Then there is the "Walrus" stage. Guess where I fit?

 **DING DING** Walrus!! YOU WIN!!

In the Walrus stage you feel hairy because your body naturally sheds less. Parts of your skin turn darker. Areaolas darken of course but some women get the mask of pregnancy and the linea negra down the front of their stomach. My freckles tend to get darker and more apparent.

You also feel huge because you are getting huge. Nothing seems to fit right, there is a lot of chaffing in strange places that never used to touch. 

You are finally hungry again and grunt a lot getting around.

Most of the grunting occurs when going from a lying to sitting position.

The disposition of a woman in the latter part of pregnancy is also similar to a walrus. Irritable, unpredictable, and willing to throw her weight around. 

This being said, it would be a good idea to proceed with extreme caution when approaching a woman in the Walrus Stage of pregnancy.