The beginging of school always feels icky to me. I am never prepared enough nor am I in the swing of things.
This year felt more icky than usual. I don't like not being prepared - seems strange coming from a person who flies by the seat of her pants 90% of the time, but those are choices I make - so maybe I am a control hound.
Situations I can't control are okay to an extent, I can't control how many kids are enrolled or which kids, but I can control where they sit and my expectations of them.
I can't control how my day is set up, but I can control how I use my time.
I can't control who comes in to my classroom after school and wants to chat for thirty minutes while I am anxiously trying to enter grades and pick things up so I can go get my girl. I can control if I shut off my lights, lock my door and move my computer away from the windows so everyone thinks I am already gone.
About that last one....I don't feel icky about doing that. Sanity saving measures are sometimes necessary.
Now that school has started and I have come to terms and begun to plan and deal with the icky things school is less icky.
By November I will think it is icky again and wonder why I keep doing this job. But I know why, because if I left these kids I would feel icky.
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