An open letter to the lady behind me in Wal-Mart

Dear Lady in Walmart with the super nice clothes, annoyed expression and tappy foot,
I did not appreciate you tapping your foot while I was explaining to my toddler that the cashier would give her the finger nail polish right back.

I did not appreciate your annoyed expression when the cashier said "Hello again! Another cart full tonight?" and then when I replied "Yes, these groceries are for me, the others were for work."

I did not appreciate your exquisetly outlined red lips being pursed as you glanced at me.

I did not appreciate the way you were brushing your jacket lapel and glancing at us as we tried to hurry.

The tears were on the edge as my infant began to fuss in the car seat.

Your tappy foot got more tappy.

You even sighed once.

Inconveniencing people is one of the things that worry me the most, being a bother to others is something I go out of my way to avoid.

So as my toddler was lifted out of the cart so the last bag could be placed in and I reminded her for the third time to "hold on tightly to the cart because there are lots of cars in the parking lot" I was surprised by you.

You put a hand on my elbow, saying very gently and quietly "I remember those days. It gets easier."

Then you smiled a genuinely kind smile.

I am not sure if your tappy foot and annoyed red pouty lips were a figment of my imagination but I am 85% sure your words were not imagined.

I appreciate you now. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Mom who will keep her own tappy foot in check

Why we don't need to be good at everything.

Did you know that students today have a bazillion choices about activities?

Even in my tiny school of just 65 students the kids can be in FCCLA, FBLA, FCA, FFA, student council, eco meet, scholar's bowl, forensics, volleyball, cross country, football, basketball, track and that is just within the school. There is church, 4-H, youth group, summer league volleyball, basketball and softball/baseball, work and volunteering.

So I decided to have a little talk with my students that are in everything.

I asked them...." Would you rather be really good at a few things, or just okay at a lot of things?"

The response was exactly as I anticipated "What are the choices?"

There are not choices kids. You can do every activity and be in every organization, get all your homework done and hang with friends but what does it boil down to?

A feeling of failure when we aren't good at all of it. Society makes us think we should be doing a bazillion things and be really good at all of them.

I am not and I came to this realization this weekend and so on Monday I withdrew from the master's program.

Yep....I am a quiter.

I can be a mother, wife, teacher, daughter, advisor, sponsor, and student and I can do them all well. But I can't be good at all of them.

So I am no longer a student myself, at least not in the traditional sense. My masters program will always be around but my husband may not and my daughter will not be small and welcome my company greedily for very much longer.

So I am going to "Practice what I teach" and be really good at a few things. The important things.

Please Read and Follow the Directions

Did you ever have a teacher that tested your ability to follow directions? Gave you a quiz that said in the directions "Write your name at the top of the page, read to the last question, and answer it only." and then the last question said "Draw a picture of anything on this question and wait ten minutes after you finish drawing to turn it in." Then your classmates or you, would be feverishly working because you only had 20 minutes to do a front and back quiz!!!! Just to get to the bottom and realize it was a trick...dang teachers making us follow the directions and making us look like fools when we don't.

I have a guilty pleasure - reading the internet news on my homepage. Sometimes it is cute things, sometimes it is radical things and sometimes it is absolutely rediculous.

Today a feature was a girl who did not get to go to a dance because she had an overdue library book.

My first response was - good for her, she was reading...wonder what it was?

Then I realized she was pitching a fit because she didn't follow directions - she said the school didn't tell her when the book was due, and she spent so much money on a dress, etc.

When you enroll you get a student handbook - this is standard procedure at each and every school, in it states the eligibility rules for various events.

Our school has a policy that if you are on the D and F grade list you can not participate in school functions for the next week - NONE, including sporting events, club activities that take you away for the day (like FCCLA conferences or a Scholar Bowl event), class activities (even senior trip!), and fun things (like Homecoming and Prom)....if you are a Homecoming candidate and your grades slip the last week before homecoming...sorry Charlie- you are out.

This is a well known policy and in my opinion a good one, not every school has it.

In my opinion students need to be taking more responsibility and initiative in their life. Most expect you as a teacher or parent to hand feed them exactly what they need to do and remind them several times - not so in my classroom. If you are absent your paper/notes/what we did for the day gets put in the "Absent Work" folder on the wall by the door and it is your responsibility to get it and turn it in. If you do not I will give you a zero because that is what you earned.

This is not to say that I am a heartless teacher, I will remind students of things to a point. If a child has been gone for many days they get a checklist showing what they are missing and when I expect each paper/notes/project to be turned in. My tests clearly state "Use complete sentences (this includes capital letter, correct grammar and punctuation)". However, if they can not or will not follow directions - they get the grade they earn unless I have made a mistake - which happens more often than I would like.

Okay - I am going to hop down off my soap box.